Self Defense

t h e . d r e a m e r · Posted: Thu Apr 27, 2006 8:58 pm Post subject: Self Defense

You've seen it in movies: A girl walks through an isolated parking garage. Suddenly, an evil-looking guy jumps out from behind an SUV. Girl jabs bad guy in the eyes with her keys — or maybe she kicks him in a certain sensitive place. Either way, while he's squirming, she's leaping into her red road racer and speeding to safety.

That's the movies, though. Here's the real-life action replay: When the girl goes to jab or kick the guy, he knows what's coming and grabs her arm (or leg), pulling her off balance. Enraged by her attempt to fight back, he flips her onto the ground. Now she's in a bad place to defend herself — and she can't run away.

Many people think of self-defense as a karate kick to the groin or jab in the eyes of an attacker. But self-defense actually means doing everything possible to avoid fighting someone who threatens or attacks you. Self-defense is all about using your smarts — not your fists.

Use Your Head
People (guys as well as girls) who are threatened and fight back "in self-defense" actually risk making a situation worse. The attacker — who is already edgy and pumped up on adrenaline (and who knows what else) — may become even more angry and violent. The best way to handle any attack (or the threat of an attack) is to try to get away. This way, you're least likely to be injured.

One way to avoid a potential attack before it happens is to trust your instincts. Your intuition, combined with your common sense, can help get you out of trouble. For example, if you're running alone on the school track and you suddenly feel like you're being watched, that could be your intuition telling you something. Your common sense would then tell you that it's a good idea to get back to where there are more people around.

Attackers aren't always strangers who jump out of dark alleys. Sadly, teens can be attacked by people they know. That's where another important self-defense skill comes into play. This skill is something self-defense experts and negotiators call de-escalation.

De-escalating a situation means speaking or acting in a way that can prevent things from getting worse. The classic example of de-escalation is giving a robber your money rather than trying to fight or run. But de-escalation can work in other ways, too. For example, if someone harasses you when there's no one else around, you can de-escalate things by agreeing with him or her (you don't have to actually believe the taunts, of course — you're just using words to get you out of a tight spot). Then you can redirect the bully's focus ("Oops, I just heard the bell for third period"), and calmly walk away from the situation.

Something as simple as not losing your temper can de-escalate a situation. Learn how to manage your own anger effectively so that you can talk or walk away without using your fists or weapons.

Although de-escalation won't always work, it can only help matters if you remain calm and don't give the would-be attacker any extra ammunition. Whether it's a stranger or someone you thought you could trust, saying and doing things that don't threaten your attacker can give you some control.

Reduce Your Risks
Another part of self-defense is doing things that can help you stay safe. Here are some tips from the National Crime Prevention Council and other experts:

** Understand your surroundings. Walk or hang out in areas that are open, well lit, and well traveled. Become familiar with the buildings, parking lots, parks, and other places you walk. Pay particular attention to places where someone could hide — such as stairways and bushes.

** Avoid shortcuts that take you through isolated areas.

** If you're going out at night, travel in a group.

** Make sure your friends and parents know your daily schedule (classes, sports practice, club meetings, etc.). If you go on a date or with friends for an after-game snack, let someone know where you're going and when you expect to return.

** Check out hangouts. Do they look safe? Are you comfortable being there? Ask yourself if the people around you seem to share your views on fun activities — if you think they're being reckless, move on.

** Be sure your body language shows a sense of confidence. Look like you know where you're going and act alert.

** When riding on public transportation, sit near the driver and stay awake. Attackers are looking for vulnerable targets.

** Carry a cell phone if possible. Make sure it's programmed with your parents' phone number.

** Be willing to report crimes in your neighborhood and school to the police.

Take a Self-Defense Class

If all else fails, it may be necessary to use physical force to protect yourself. If a person blocks your path to safety or physically attacks you, your only recourse may be to fight back. The best way — in fact the only way — to prepare yourself to fight off an attacker is to take a self-defense class. We'd love to give you all the right moves in an article, but some things you just have to learn in person.

A good self-defense class can teach you how to size up a situation and decide what you should do. Self-defense classes can also teach special techniques for breaking an attacker's grasp and other things you can do to get away. For example, attackers usually anticipate how their victim might react — that kick to the groin or jab to the eyes, for instance. A good self-defense class can teach you ways to surprise your attacker and catch him or her off guard.

One of the best things people take away from self-defense classes is self-confidence. The last thing you want to be thinking about during an attack is, "Can I really pull this self-defense tactic off?" It's much easier to take action in an emergency if you've already had a few dry runs.

A self-defense class should give you a chance to practice your moves. If you take a class with a friend, you can continue practicing on each other to keep the moves fresh in your mind long after the class is over.

Check out your local YMCA, community hospital, or community center for classes. If they don't have them, they may be able to tell you who does. Your PE teacher or school counselor may also be a great resource.

Reviewed by: Steven Dowshen, MD, and Barbara P. Homeier, MD

t h e . d r e a m e r · Posted: Thu Apr 27, 2006 9:06 pm Post subject:

This article is one of my research work after the harrassment incident that happened to me. I just want friends to be more aware of what to do and what not to do. My parents have taught me so many dos and don'ts but in my panic moments I forgot almost everything and luckily it didn't bring me to any danger.

One thing I like to share is
NEVER LOSE YOUR COOL when it happened to you.
and go to crowded area, if possible. I approached the women at the field and told them what happened. If possible call your parents to get you. If you don't have a cell phone, borrow from someone by telling them your situation. Don't be shy about it! That could cause you more trouble. And never, ever jump into a stranger's car when she/he offers to drive you home.

My parents always tell me if there is a situation where I can't get hold of them and I am scared, go to the police station. There is always a woman officer there to help.

lil_cookie--[killer] · Posted: Fri Apr 28, 2006 3:23 am Post subject:

I havent read all of the topic above you wrote but,
My mom told me to shout for help if im in trouble especially in the Philippines.
Coz' outside the gate, its an unsafe neighborhood.
There has been violence there before.
My mom was buying bread there before and I was waiting for mom in the car.
She saw 2 men complaining about something and she was very near them, then suddenly they were FIGHTING!
My mom went inside the car fast so she'll stay out of it.
I dont know what happend after that.....

And whenever I go outside the gate to go to school, there can be some boys who can whistle at me.
Im really afraid of them so thats why I had my Ate with me.
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chymeer · Posted: Fri Apr 28, 2006 4:55 am Post subject:

Cammy>have you been here?
I think Phillipines are not so as that!
If other country could just understand!
But never mind!
I am a karate student or whatever so if I need deffense I can use to be like that!

a time happened to me!
my classmate tried to fight with me because I lose my temper when he teased me that time and he use to punch me so I blocked him using my umbrella.and kick him on his leg and I use to spank him by my umbrella!

sorry I dont know what are the other terms for that!
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lil_cookie--[killer] · Posted: Fri Apr 28, 2006 2:10 pm Post subject:

Of course I have been in the Philippines Icon_favorites49

I used to live there 7 years! Icon_favorites49

And ya....the Philippines can also be unsafe.
I have looked in TV Patrol and I have seen a lot of people who get hurt or kidnapped or shot or harrassed.
_________________

i ♥ Jack the Ripper
nananananananana
BATMAN!

Y.R.P are my heroes.

Shilpa · Posted: Fri Apr 28, 2006 3:48 pm Post subject:

thanks for the tips HX & cammy!!
i don't go for any self defence classes but girls always remember .... JUST SCREAM!! we have got really shrill voices (most of us) & they can really draw attention of the people around you. i sometimes feel that even if you go for self defence classes its kinda not useful cause at that time you are so scared & worried that you may even forget your moves.
but then if you feel confident with karate then .. GO AHEAD! Icon_emotions16

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~~*Shilpa*~~

SmileyC · Posted: Sat Apr 29, 2006 1:33 pm Post subject:

My dad's gonna teach me Karate. My best friend take Karate lessons but my dad rather he teach me himself. He said he use too learn Karate for 7 years I think.
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lil_cookie--[killer] · Posted: Sat Apr 29, 2006 1:44 pm Post subject:

Scream?
Im really good at it but Im making sure that I dont scream too much lol
_________________

i ♥ Jack the Ripper
nananananananana
BATMAN!

Y.R.P are my heroes.

t h e . d r e a m e r · Posted: Sat Apr 29, 2006 3:00 pm Post subject:

I like the umbrella idea!!! LOL Yeah... we should SCREAM if we feel danger. We shouldn't be shy about it. Rather be safe than sorry.

I don't learn karate but I think it's cool. My mom always tell me if someone tries to be funny, use my elbow or hit him where it hurts. We also have to be very cautious not to walk in an area where it isn't safe.

I'm not sure if only a particular area of the Philippines that are not safe but when we were in Manila, our embassy told us to make sure the luggages stay inside the taxi or limousine and the doors locked. There had been cases where thieves opened the booth of the taxi while it stopped for traffic light!

lil_cookie--[killer] · Posted: Sat Apr 29, 2006 3:06 pm Post subject:

Thats true!
My dad was in Manila before and his expensive watch got stolen.
_________________

i ♥ Jack the Ripper
nananananananana
BATMAN!

Y.R.P are my heroes.

chymeer · Posted: Tue May 02, 2006 3:07 pm Post subject:

dont be worry bout filipinos!
maybe I am filipina !
but as HX and Cammy said! some other places here are not that wild!
they wer just affected on some problems on money or family so they use to stil !
yeah family prob.!
they use illigal drugs to let them forgot problems!
but still some other places here are safety!
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t h e . d r e a m e r · Posted: Tue May 02, 2006 3:41 pm Post subject:

This problem doesn't only exist in the Philippines. In big cities, there will be areas which are unsafe.

Once when my mom and I were walking to meet my dad, a motorbike slowed down and mom saw that he turned towards us. He was trying to grab mom's handbag but she was quick to react. I think if she would have managed to stop that would-be snatcher, she would beat this man!!! It was unfortunate that nobody stopped to help even when mom shouted so loud.

A few days ago some older Indian boys were calling after me again when I was playing with my friends at the playground. I told my parents what happened and dad said as long as they were not rude, we can't go threatening all the boys but my parents will go the playground more often to check on me. That'sit if the rain here ever stop!!! Argghh!!!
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a.ma.li.na · Posted: Tue May 02, 2006 5:04 pm Post subject:

Thanks for the tip everybody! I also checked in Google and visited some various websites for more information about this.

It's very important especially for us girls. I found this in a website; www.safetyforwomen.com You will be shocked by these facts.

Crime statistics state that:

* A woman is raped every 46 seconds in America... that's 78 rapes each hour!
* Every day, four women are killed by their abusive partners
* 25% of girls and 17% of boys will be sexually assaulted by the time they are 18 years old
* 14% of all American women acknowledge having been violently abused by a husband or boyfriend
* From 1992 to 1993 29% of all violence against women by a lone offender was by an Intimate
* 75% of domestic homicides occur after the victim has left the perpetrator
* 28% of all homicides of women are domestic violence related
* 95% of reported domestic assaults the female is the victim and the male is the perpetrator
* 75% of every rape is committed by a man that the victim knows
* 25% of rapes take place in a public area or a parking garage

Terrible isn't it? I don't know what to advice so I show you these facts. *sigh* But read this; Use you smarts, lower your risks of injury and take self-defense classes.

JellyBean25 · Posted: Thu Aug 17, 2006 10:23 pm Post subject:

PEPPER SPRAY!!!

Ouch!

Aleena! Those facts are like WHOA!

Everyone! The tips are useful!

lil_cookie--[killer] · Posted: Sun Aug 20, 2006 12:11 am Post subject:

We had this topic in school too a long time ago.
Its not only us girls and women but also kids.
_________________

i ♥ Jack the Ripper
nananananananana
BATMAN!

Y.R.P are my heroes.